What keeps you awake? A heart that never stops dreaming.
I really wanted to talk, to tell everything that is on my mind... And it's so weird when I'm moving in the wrong direction, running away from you. Even if all these walks at night counts, today's night is cold and disgusting. Walks after parties, when you grabbed my hips. When we were flirting. You must know that I had a big hug for you anytime you needed one because I know how rare we are nowadays - we grew when the rain fell and when we are fed by the light. We are all miracles searching for someone to believe in us.
But I'll tell you something. "I love the way you say tomorrow like there's so much room left for us to grow". What a rush it is, to look at you and know that kindness exists. You always have our conversations comfortably, you're always carrying. I close my eyes now, in this room and with all my faith I wish I could believe you at the beginning of our journey. I wish I could be smarter, a believer, a child with a simple empty soul. Do you remember Christmas?
I know what you think sometimes about this situation. You're wondering why I behave this way, why I kept giving weird signals. Maybe sometimes you imagine me in his arms, closing my eyes with pleasure when he says that he loves me. Maybe you think I deserve to be loved by someone who actually loves me, not someone who is saying all over again that it is hard to know what the real love is. You know boy, if so, we can agree to some extent. I really wish I could enjoy every minute spending with him but instead of this - sometimes I even forget to remember him. I think I should be very happy when he calls to me, but the dream lasts 15 minutes and then we have nothing to speak about. How many times we can ask each other how are you? How many times I'll only get "I'm fine" answer? I wish I could spend hours simply talking about random things with him instead of you - because he loves me. And I deserve to be loved. Always wonder if you actually know me better than the person, who says the "L" word. I just.. My dear strawberry blonde boy, I just think we were so much more than I let us be.
Dzisiaj miałam sen. A może to była rzeczywistość? Śniło mi się, że ktoś mnie kochał. Śniłam o wysokim truskawkowym blondynie. Byłeś tam ze mną, w tym malutkim pokoiku. Obejmowałeś mnie, dociskałeś moją talię do siebie niczym zdesperowany. Wyszeptałeś mi, że boisz się mnie stracić, bo tak długo na to czekałeś. Głaskałeś moje dłonie i przeczesywałeś palcami moje włosy, uśmiechałeś się patrząc mi w oczy. Powoli, krok po kroku, uczyłeś się mnie całować, tak jak powoli uczyłeś się przyjmować pocałunki. Od czasu do czasu Twoja ręka wędrowała na moje plecy, kiedy podwinęła mi się koszulka - czułam, że lubiłeś dotykać mojej ciepłej skóry.
But I'll tell you something. "I love the way you say tomorrow like there's so much room left for us to grow". What a rush it is, to look at you and know that kindness exists. You always have our conversations comfortably, you're always carrying. I close my eyes now, in this room and with all my faith I wish I could believe you at the beginning of our journey. I wish I could be smarter, a believer, a child with a simple empty soul. Do you remember Christmas?
I know what you think sometimes about this situation. You're wondering why I behave this way, why I kept giving weird signals. Maybe sometimes you imagine me in his arms, closing my eyes with pleasure when he says that he loves me. Maybe you think I deserve to be loved by someone who actually loves me, not someone who is saying all over again that it is hard to know what the real love is. You know boy, if so, we can agree to some extent. I really wish I could enjoy every minute spending with him but instead of this - sometimes I even forget to remember him. I think I should be very happy when he calls to me, but the dream lasts 15 minutes and then we have nothing to speak about. How many times we can ask each other how are you? How many times I'll only get "I'm fine" answer? I wish I could spend hours simply talking about random things with him instead of you - because he loves me. And I deserve to be loved. Always wonder if you actually know me better than the person, who says the "L" word. I just.. My dear strawberry blonde boy, I just think we were so much more than I let us be.
Dzisiaj miałam sen. A może to była rzeczywistość? Śniło mi się, że ktoś mnie kochał. Śniłam o wysokim truskawkowym blondynie. Byłeś tam ze mną, w tym malutkim pokoiku. Obejmowałeś mnie, dociskałeś moją talię do siebie niczym zdesperowany. Wyszeptałeś mi, że boisz się mnie stracić, bo tak długo na to czekałeś. Głaskałeś moje dłonie i przeczesywałeś palcami moje włosy, uśmiechałeś się patrząc mi w oczy. Powoli, krok po kroku, uczyłeś się mnie całować, tak jak powoli uczyłeś się przyjmować pocałunki. Od czasu do czasu Twoja ręka wędrowała na moje plecy, kiedy podwinęła mi się koszulka - czułam, że lubiłeś dotykać mojej ciepłej skóry.
I'm so glad I have met you, you gave me faith. But now I feel that I am more war than I am a woman. I feel that way if somebody would give me enough coffee I can rule the world.
Comments
Post a Comment